The scales moved!!!

Well thank fucking for that!! I really thought that my scales were broken because for days they were not budgeting and ill be a big fat liar if I said that it didn’t bother me, I refused to give up though because Kelly of the past would have but today I got on and they say 14s 3lbs!!! I also have lost 1 inch off my waist 👏👏 Happy days. It’s crazy that I am so obsessed I am with the scales but I am getting better, I am not on them daily. I actually feel a little smaller I can’t see it but I feel it a little bit. 1 more pound and I have hit my goal which was to lose 1 stone in January😁 the first goal of many on this weight loss journey.

The whole house is still really sick, we spoke to a Dr and they said it’s a nasty virus that’s going around and can take 6 weeks to get over completely yummy 😥

I am planning to make a YouTube video tomorrow on making slim and save friendly chilli chips and then on the 1st of February I will do an update video😍 excited 🙂


Sick and the scales are NOT moving wtf!

The past few days I have been playing Nurse maid my daughter has been really sick she came home from school Friday and looked really poorly and the whole weekend I have been staying by her side I actually didn’t get a wink of sleep Saturday because I wanted to keep an eye on her when she slept. My mind can go from 0- 10000 in a few seconds. I was convinced that she had pneumonia and wasn’t going to wake up! (My Auntie died a year ago of pneumonia and now I panic all the time that everyone is going to get it) irrational I know.

Anyway I have woken up with it today my head is pounding I have a temperature and my hip bones for some bizarre reason are killing me 😦 So today I am spending the day on the couch with my hubby (who has also woke up sick)

I am still on plan but I am not losing weight the scales are not moving I have no idea what is going on I haven’t cheated at all? I will not let this stop me I am going to stay on plan and hope that I will get on the scales in a few days and have a massive loss all of a sudden. Its been a month nearly (well 25 days) and I have lost 10 pounds, its not like I have a little bit to lose I need to lose 6 stone (I am 14s 6lbs today)I have been eating swede chips which are allowed I weigh them out as well. I did have 2 slices of salami but I cant see that sending me to a point of not losing weight it has hardly any carbs but I am going to stop having ANYTHING but 4 products a day. I don’t think I have been drinking enough water so I am going to make sure I am drinking more. OK that’s it I just wanted to get a post up so no one thinks I have fallen off the wagon 🙂

Oh I did find a fab website showing weight loss pictures its http://motiveweight.tumblr.com I have been going through and pinning all of the stories and pictures that I find the most amazing so I have something to go and look at if I feel tempted.

I do want to start working out (I want to get a cross trainer/ elliptical machine but I dont think I am allowed to work out yet. I have also been using one of those ab training belts I cant see a difference yet but then again my abs are hiding under a LOT of padding 🙂


I made a new video. I avoid people like the plague, I have social anxiety.


So its Sunday today, I love Sundays to me its THE family day of the week. I spent lots of today trying to clean it is hard with my back especially in the cold because my back does get to the point where just standing up hurts 😦 I really hope that changes with the weight loss that IS coming. I am one of those crazy people that LOVE cleaning! Yep I love all of it the washing up the ironing (me and my hubby get into disagreements about who will win the battle to wash up LOL) The only thing I dislike is folding and putting away clothes yuck!

I decided to make a new video today, I have wondered how I will feel if my video somehow reaches some one I know because its all well and good thinking I am talking to me or people that are on the plan or thinking of the plan too, do you know what I honestly don’t care anymore! I have got to a point where I am tired of hiding because that is what I do.I avoid social situations like the plague, I am the friend that says “I will try and make it” but I never do something always comes up. I never used to be like that, in fact I was the social butterfly I was the center of attention and had the biggest mouth ever, now I try and blend in. If I am completely honest I go as far as I don’t want to see my kids friends parents, I don’t even want to see the mail man, I try and arrange things to happen (like kid collections/drop offs) when my husband is here.
This problem has been with me for years, even when I wasn’t as big, I would deliberately start an argument just so that I could do the old “I am not going anywhere” line, I did this a lot and it caused our relationship to fail. Thankfully we are still here and together and have been for 14 years now (he is my rock) I don’t work out of the house now but that is because of my back and the other issues I have medically. I used to have LOTS of friends and I still do but those friends have become facebook friends, you know the ones every now and then you like a picture or catch a status update and comment on, but making REAL LIFE dates it doesn’t happen. There are only a handful of people I am comfortable around, I have been trying to work out why I am like this now and the only things I can think of is 1. I feel ginormous and don’t want to be seen (My hubby and I and the the kids volunteered Christmas day to feed local people that would have other wise been alone) I did it because I have wanted to do something like this for years with the kids so that they see how lucky we are and that Christmas isn’t just about gifts, however a few days before I started thinking of ways to get out of it but I made myself go. I got dressed looked in the mirror (I am sure all mirrors are magic) and in the mirror I thought I looked OK, however when I was sent a few pictures yesterday I stick out like a giant bloody grape! Have a look, its easy you will see me…..on the day I was uncomfortable because the tables were super close together and it was our job to serve and clear plates I couldn’t get around the tables and was bumping into people. The second reason that comes straight to my mind about going out and socializing that I dread is the uncomfortable silences I hate them and feel like its my responsibility to talk and then in my head I sit thinking “shut up just shut up, they don’t want to just hear you blabbing” but I just cant bear the silence’s they feel awful. My worst nightmare has come true a few times but the time that springs to mind is I was working at a bank and was sent to go to Southampton for a week and we had to share rooms and share cars, I was stuck in a car for 6 hours with a women I didn’t know and then all week stuck it was awful! I am even like it if I know the person, I was a manager at a company I previously at and at work I was fine, I was loud and “bubbly” I hate that word FYI My mother used it all the time….(Ill get to that next) but there was no problems I got on great with my team and I did go out a few times to the pub as a group to reward their hard work, we would talk about work and then after a while the drinks have been flowing so I was fine! Now the third reason I believe is where the whole thing stems from…My Mother! I don’t have a relationship with her for very good reason lets just say that she treated me and my sisters very badly as children and then she put my children knowingly in a dangerous situation because she was thinking of herself only (and always has done) she was ALWAYS loud and obnoxious I recall sitting in Drs reception areas where staff are a few foot away and after being there for a few minutes she would start F-ing and blinding about how long we have been waiting, she would start randomly talking to people very loudly and I would want the floor to open up and swallow me whole. She always had to be the loudest person in any situation and would make an absolute twat of her self i.e at my sisters wedding she decided to take the balloons down and start trying to wear them (imagine a rubber ring for the pool, that’s what the balloons were like) running around the dance floor, I wasnt at the wedding (I lived in New York at the time) but watching the video was enough to make me cringe. Have you ever watched something on the TV and someone says something so bad that it makes you cringe, you know the hide behind a cushion moment? Imagine that but worse 24/7 it was awful. So now I just want to blend in! This weight doesn’t help me blend in I stand out like a sore thumb and I know I do and I hate that.

Phew that was a long rant, so there you go there is another part of my puzzle, there are so many pieces to fit together to complete the puzzle but I am determined to make that puzzle whole x

Have a great week all xx



Ok I know that getting on and off the scales is a syn but I can’t bloody help it I just don’t get it!! My weight is not going down in fact it’s creeping up 😱😨😤 I am not cheating the only thing I have done was have a shish kebab no pita just the chicken which I asked “is it marinated” and I was told it wasn’t. So it’s grilled chicken pieces and sales there was some red cabbage in the salad? Is that the reason? I am not having anymore. My hubby said he thinks I will just have a big weight loss one morning, I really want to stay off the scales but it’s like a magnet between them and my feet!

Ok rant over 😉💖


Support, anything you want to add?

I am overwhelmed by the support I have been show in 24 and a bit hours since I uploaded my video on YouTube! I want to make this clear I do not work for slim & save, they have no input on my channel, the only thing they have given me is the right to use their logo and show their products. With that out of the way I want to also say “I love s&s!!” Not just the people that work there, they have been beyond helpful but the people that are also on the plan have been just amazing. If I have a question I put it on the Facebook wall and BAM the answer arrives within minutes.

I am trying to decide what direction I want my YouTube channel to go in, look I am in no way fooling myself that I will be the next Zoella (thanks to my daughter I know she is a big time YouTube hit, that has way too many products that I HAD to buy for Christmas 😨) but I would like to put some effort into it so that my mind is on this and not cake! I as a person and no please don’t think I am trying to be Mother Theresa but I love helping people, I am one of those that enjoys giving and not receiving ( not in every situation 😉💋) so I want to help people see that there is an answer to their prayers. I don’t believe many people come to a VLCD as a first option ( I may be wrong?) So for me to show real results of real people hopefully that will be enough to give someone the kick up the arse they have been waiting for. At the same time I don’t want to come across as a know it all because let’s call a spade a spade I am fat! I don’t know the answers and while this time feels different I don’t want to end up with pie on my face ( or in my gob 😀) this would be total disaster after putting myself out there for all to see. So I want to make my channel both a true documented picture of my weight loss and also include as much information to help newbies without sounding like I am selling the diet. I have a tendency to sound like a salesperson because that’s my specialty.

So after this long blog about not too much I have asked if anyone would be willing to send me their before and after pics so I can make a small slide show showing real results from real people. I have also asked people what questions they had at the start of the plan that they were looking for an answer to what diet to follow without having to read pages and pages of info. I will end my waffle (I got more rabbit than Sainsbury’s as Chas and Dave said) by repeating what I said at the start by saying the out pouring of support is just such a brilliant feeling, it makes me feel like I am not alone there is a whole army with me fighting to get healthy.

Thank you reading my waffling and if you have any thing you would like me to do in future videos let me know and if you have a before/ after picture that you want me to include in an upcoming video let me know x

Diet, Slim & Save, Slim and save, vlcd

2015 year of health (With Slim & Save)

I ended 2014 in the way that I’d spent most of it and that would be shoving as much food in my mouth as possible while thinking and moaning about weight and diets!
I have been on every diet I can name, I went on another VLCD before slim and save and it was much more expensive and I had to see a consultant who in all honesty didn’t give a flying poop how I was doing and 80% of the time I didn’t see her I would send my money over the internet and she would drop off the products and leave them on the doorstep! I have been up and down weight wise I have been a size 10-12 and i have been a size 20.
My confidence is rock bottom and I try and avoid seeing myself naked and the thought of my husband of 13 and a half years seeing me naked makes me shudder. I am blessed my husband loves me unconditionally and he really does.
I have PCOS and this makes it so I put on weight super easy and it’s really hard to lose also, saying that I eat like a pig!! It’s like as soon as sugar hits my tongue I need as much as possible,  it’s not unknown for me to come downstairs in the morning and eat cheesecake yep cheesecake for breakfast! Not pretty.
I also have some major issues with my back, I was involved in a car accident 8 years ago and it destroyed my back, it gets to the point where standing for more than a few minutes becomes so painful, it has got to a point that with me abusing my self with crap food and then my own body not being in tip top shape is making me someone I don’t want to be, I HAVE to do this. I am 33 and I will not be 34 in this body.
My husband and I tried to have another baby for a long time and sadly it didn’t work out, but maybe if I had got hold of the motivation back then we may have had another baby, I do have 2 kids (1 biological and 1 bonus) I know there is a chance my daughter could get PCOS too so I want to do all I can to keep her healthy too. My son is super healthy and is going to go to college to become a physical trainer ( I told him I will be his first client)
So January 1st 2015 was my start date, now I get it that most people start a new years resolution and by February it’s done but nope not me, not this time this is it!  I started off at 15 stone 2 ( I am 5 foot) so this isn’t a want it’s a need BUT I would like to feel hot not just be hot from walking 😉 so I decided I am going to do slim and save and as of today the 14th January I weigh 14 stone 7 🙆👏 yep I a happy girl. My hubby is also doing this with me, I am a complete worry wart and panic about everything including one of us dying and leaving the other one alone, but it could happen because we are not healthy but we are actively changing that.
I love slim and save products I don’t love all of them but I love enough to give me a good variety so I won t get bored. I will be on the plan for as long as it takes but my hope is that I will start refeeding by my birthday, the average weight loss is 1 stone a month, my goal is to end up weighing  9 stone, so that’s  just over 6 stone so in theory I should be done by June (My birthday is in July so I have a buffer of 1 month) I will review my goal as I get closer to it. My first target is to lose 10% of my starting weight so that is 21 pounds I need to lose , I am already down my 9 pounds so I am well on my way.
I have started a YouTube channel ( https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsjSzgVWmggMLVCXaZmykvw) so if you are interested in following my journey please come over to VLCDGrasshopper channel. I will not bull crap anyone or sugar coat anything if I mess up I will tell you. If anyone has any hints or tips or questions please let me know.

Thank you